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life@sept15

达啦!一眨眼 blink blink, 哇, 九月过了一半了!

钱不够用。钱不是万能,但是没钱却是万万不能!

什么让我压力大叻,没钱让我压力很大啦。。 。

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D君离开了,又被调派去另一个城市了。原来时间就是过得那么快的。wanwan说他离开了也好。想想也对,唉。。

然后经HS呢,又认识了yk…然后世界那么小,yk又是俺家豆腐卜的朋友哦。。很妙厚。。。但是,我真的有努力地要试试,但是。。。应该是我的问题吧,感觉不能勉强自己。竟然又重施故技,实施消失策略。 好啦,没有啦,还是偶尔会回复啦,久久一下酱啦。。。我真的很努力努力啦。。。不过,豆腐卜说的很对,不适合我呐,我是有听进去的。

其实我也在想,既然要我努力地去适应配合,感觉有点勉强,就。。。唉。。咯。。。

我想说呢,大概我跟D字开头的比较有缘。 之前不是说很惊讶某某突然结婚了吗,就是因为突然把别人肚子搞大了。但是,话说,他还是会对我说类似意思,要孩子不要娘的话,一直处于分居状态的样子。那可怎么办,谁叫你去搞大别人的肚子 , 唉。。。

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俺的爱wanwan要结婚了,爱情长跑十年,终于结成正果!耶!!!

但是这个月,荷包破洞了 T_T

除了红包大,还有请吃饭。

还有自己买了不多东西,但是价钱。。。然后又还有其他喜酒。。我已经透支了,快疯了!omg! 怎么就没人塞点钱给我啊 T_T (垂头丧气)totally没安全感的生活啊。

请给我钱吧~~~

我看我是结不成婚了,我只好爱钱了 T_T

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对了,这几天狂发恶梦,梦里哭到我半夜惊醒。接着睡,又梦到继续哭。

真的是疯了

到底是哭毛

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随波逐流中~

好吧,趁现在真的很有时间,写写些什么的。

已经太久没update了,我只是不喜欢整天都对着电脑,而且坐在电脑前,脑子就一片空白。

今天是开工第三天,还是一样很无聊,坐在这小小的office里面,看着四面墙,真的。。。突然怀念全部人在同一个office工作的景象。 (虽然有自己的空间,我总不能自言自语来排解时间吧)

很多人都很质疑我为什么要在这破旧的office和公司做,因为有更好的offer. 其实我也不是很清楚,只知道那更好的offer , 又会变成一星期要上七天班,想想就心里很不爽。。加加买买,更好的offer虽然职位高了,可是薪水才多几百块。。现在算算还不超过五百块 -_- 而且想到又要回去面对那些鬼,心里就不是很愿意。

现在问题又来了,这个office真的很破旧。 天啊。。就大概十年前是类似临时site office,现在变成permanent office, 然后并没有重建这样。 唉。。。人生很奇妙。 我此时此刻为什么会在这个地方?

这里99%是友族同胞, 我就是那个1%里面的一份子。 所以,另外的那几个包含在1%里面的人就问了我几次,为什么会在这里上班。。。。我都没回答,所以他们自己回答,很靠近你家。。。我就“嗯,真的很靠近!”。 事实是,因为他们KL HQ 在一个多月前的某一天,突然send email还有打给我,叫我来interview。 那时我也没方向 (现在也没方向),既然有人要我interview我就来。 Interview完后差不多一个多,说要请我了。我想说,我也还没开始找工作,既然要请我了,我就做咯。 (我总不能这么跟我同事说吧 -_-“)这里的薪水加allowances,大概就可能是其他公司manager的薪水,搞不好我上一间公司的manager也没这个薪水,只是我还真不知道能在这里混多久。 老是好像头脑一片空白,不能动。

哦!说到这里,我想说我觉得头脑空白好像不是我懒惰的错。 昨天去medical checkup,发现我又low blood pressure了。 医生问我有没有头晕,我说没。。。仔细想了一下,有也,就可能已经晕习惯了,我以为自己就身体弱或睡不好所以一直常常觉得自己呆滞。。所以经医生一问,好像是注意到了自己可能是因为一直都有点小晕(太习惯就有时太晕才有feel),所以都没办法好好思考吧。。。Low blood pressure 都没药医,唉。。。

然后我之前就说过我一工作就会生病,果然不负众望,第二天开始扁桃腺发炎,疼到耳朵也开始疼。幸好我老爹种了棵非洲树,马上去摘了几片非洲树叶煮水让我喝,我马上降大温。不那么肿了,但是里面还是很痛。 唉。。。老天爷,如果你不让我工作的话,就让我中大彩中个千万,我做投资家就好了,呵呵呵!(但是千万在现在来说好像也不够投资什么)

好了,现在来说说一直送我花送了两年要三年的男人。说实在,他那么坚持是让我有感动的。哪里知道前几天又对我说了几感动的话“Im more than willing to go thru this with u, have back confidence in relationship and love.” “try to have more faith, if not in relation then in me.”

哇, 最后那句一个字“强”!

可是我,没信心,没有faith in anything.

常常看到朋友们,能跟他们的伴侣有那种互相依赖,互相信任,互相认定, 有101% trust的那种feel,就羡慕。 可是也没办法,还没遇到。我想也很难遇到。就这样咯~

开始全身大酸痛,这样是不是因为low blood pressure 叻? 神啊,就让大把大把财富从天上掉下来给我吧! 我会很爱你的, 哈哈!

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“You’re not going to die for this”

Just read an interesting post You are not going to die for this from Alden Tan.

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Last year, where I pretty much spent the whole year struggling with my online business, I hit an extremely low point in my life.

I had exactly $33 in my bank account. I was also hit by hyperthyroidism like out of nowhere. Symptoms included breathing difficulties, muscle weakness and a heart that couldn’t slow down.

Then one time, the clinic rejected my ATM card when I was trying to get more medicine.

That was a very shitty period.

I didn’t feel good. I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was down.

But I didn’t give a fuck and just kept working hard.

I’m doing a lot better today.

This not a typical, “Don’t give up” post. I’m not going to tell you to work hard and all that cliché stuff. You already know that.

I’m here to say that you aren’t going to die.

That is, when you don’t give up, continue working hard and pushing on.

This is the answer to all of you with fears of the future.

As long as you’re a rational, normal human being who wants to be better, you’ll absolutely do what it takes to survive.

Know what that means? It means as long as you’re sensible enough to not do stupid shit like borrowing money from a loan shark when you’re broke, resorting to drinking away your problems only, gambling to make money or taking drugs, you’re kind of good man.

Everybody fears the future on some level. Nobody is clairvoyant.

But if you embrace uncertainty, get out of your comfort zone, do what you want and most of all, add in some common sense, you’re going to be good.

So you aren’t going to die, become homeless or whatever. Take solace in that.

It will feel like shit of course, but that’s how challenges are. That’s why you struggle and that’s how you grow.

Now, just do what you have to do. Do what it takes to survive. And in that mix, give yourself a chance to do what you love and what you really want.

You aren’t going to die.

P.S. If you think you have a real problem with money, gambling, drugs and stuff, just seek professional help already.

P.P.S. You will die if you don’t eat right or sleep enough. Remember. Health first. Everything else second

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Date this guy

So So True!

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Brad Pitt writes sweet love letter to his wife

Seriously, if all men can think and do like Brad Pitt, the divorce rate in the world will decrease to nearly zero. All the ladies and wives would be the happiest people on earth which also make their men the happiest man on earth.

love story from the male perspective

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How to replace bad relationships with good ones

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The Beginning of 2014

I was supposed to write my 2014 resolution and I had many ideas on the resolutions previously.

However until to date, half of the resolutions in my mind are gone T^T (How can it be?)

Whatever, I dont feel like writing it down anymore.

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For 2014, everything starts with good things, i mean something different.

First, I applied unpaid leave for 1st Jan 2014 by ignoring my HR’s warning. My HR did not allow me to take leave and I did not care. And it was my first time to countdown in Singapore- Siloso Beach Party at Sentosa. You know what, I just wanna give myself some exciting feel on a totally new year!

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It was said to be Asian’s largest beach party. For me, it is just so so, not that fun. One exciting thing is that most of Singaporean guys are really masculine all with six pack, hahaha! They really work out hard in gym. The reason of being not fun was that there are too many Indians and Bangladeshi. Not to discriminate them, but due to cultural differences the ways to have fun is quite different. We jumped under the water splash, jumped into swimming pool, foam pool…Foam party is not that fun too, it was too crowded at the foam pool. Drinks inside the beach party is very limited, not many choices, most of the stalls were selling carlsberg, vodka and vodka with red bull (to keep you boosted up whole night long?) Some people really got high and had sex in the pool. Free show to all the people around. Goodness!

I just love beach so much! Although overall is not that enjoying, but it was relaxing with the walking on sand and cool breeze. I am surprised that I could stay up until 5am in the morning just wandering along the beach. My stamina decreases as my age increases and I did not stay up so late for years! I was young again at that night, haha!

Picture 040_副本Morning 2014!

Stayed overnight at Hard Rock Hotel, Resort World Singapore. My first view of the Year 2014 with sleepy eyes! My room faced the pool, once I opened the door to balcony, it was like summer party with loud music! Oh god, I just love summer and beach so so much!!!!

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After back home, I received another surprise! A bouquet of roses from Long, my ex-colleague from Singapore. I am very grateful to his persistence and determination, for doing something for me for quite some time. He gives me a lot of wishes and greetings. I am blessed indeed. Because I wanted him to know that I am grateful so I posted this photo in my FB, thank you for all the blessings from my friends who commented on this photo in FB. But the current situation is that (according to what he said) He is courting me.  So, yea….that’s it. However, ever since the photo and tag came out from my FB, things are becoming complicated. My ex-manager from Singapore kinda get himself involved in this courtship thing, trying to tell me that I better stay away from Long for my own good. Well, he and him…. ahem, frankly speaking, I do not know how to comment on this.

Whatever!

Last but not least, still I really hope good things can come to me in this whole new year!All the fucking suckers in my previous life can disappear or vanish in the air…erm, better dont vanish in the air to cause air pollution, disappear will do. And I do believe that there is rule of justice in the nature, and justice will do the right thing for me one day. The motherfuckers will get what they deserve and the so-called retribution one day, hopefully the day will come fast. Only then they will realize how wrong they were and regret for the rest of their lives, the cost that they have to pay.

cute-bunny-sticking-out-tongue

Ice.Olivia.Yan.艳. cheers for life!

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孤独的一只兔-冰小艳

世上是有真爱的,但是并不发生在我们身上。 

我是一只孤独的兔子。

今天join了一group new friends for karaoke, 原来是个小型家庭聚会。突然觉得融入了普通人的日常生活,不是说我不是普通人而是觉得自己很难融入所谓每个普通人的生活。 这感觉很奇妙! 当然也有点格格不入。

Dennis给我的印象是很会关心人,很贴心。Dennis今年33岁,engineer在新加坡做工。人还算不错吧….还主动邀约去跨年。可惜,姐我要去新加坡跨年啦。

Ivan是个在澳洲念个厨师回来的家伙,28岁,骨子里就是坏坏的。姐我真的很忙,没mood陪你。重点是对你耐心有限,你对我耐心应该也有限呐!

××××××××××××××××××

固执地活在自己的世界

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不再去想别人的世界是怎么样的,也不再去想融入。 也许,我原本就不属于任何一个世界。我已经开始慢慢接受这个事实了,不需要刻意融入某一个角落,某一个群体。和别人不同,注定就是要孤独咯。

套一句肥美妹最喜欢说的话:“我就是我,不做作的我”

(只是当然做sales的时候,还是做作啦)

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我只是觉得,我开始在逃避任何一个新的可能。 算了,就磨灭全部的可能呗!姐很累了。。。不知从什么时候起,姐变成workaholic了!一直不停地忙,一停下来就觉得害怕不安。但是在一直不停忙的当儿又超累的。。。不知所措。。。

再来套一句蘑菇说的话:“如果不累,就不是活着”

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该拥有的,从来没离开过。没有的,也从来没存在过。

Image

冰小艳@濒临分裂

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Hectic December

I was attracted by the blog title “Marriage isn’t for you” and I reblogged it.

I have been thinking lately that I might not be suitable to go into a marriage, not because I cannot afford the obligation and commitment. Maybe freedom is the best release of life that you need not to care about  the person whom you care so much, how the person think about you and how your actions or thinking will affect the person.

Maybe the idea of getting into a relationship does not exist anymore. Compromises are never enough. I just do not want to make my life so tough anymore, not to lower down myself just to accommodate anyone. Being myself, do not consume me that fast.

As mentioned in the “Marriage is’t for you”, it is fortunate and lucky for the guy that he realized his selfishness at least not too late. Saw too many posts on FB lately about divorce stories and how to save the marriage, well sometimes unconditional love and sacrifice can save a marriage or relationship in the end of the story; But forever is too long to reach. The one who gives always suffers.

The happily ever after only happens when time is short enough to prove.

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I am learning life while experiencing it, just like everyone else.

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I have been asking God.

Olivia & Ice @ hectic day

bunny

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Marriage Isn’t For You

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