“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.” Robbin Williams

After seeing this quote, I am more certain that there are people out there or just near me, or who pretend they are close with me, are treating me with a fake heart.

“A friend in need is a friend indeed.”

You are all trying to show your fake concerns to me, sorry I guess it is better to keep it for yourselves. Do not waste your time to pretend that you are such a kind person on this earth, you are polluting the earth.

If you are now reading doesn’t mean you are the one. You should not have hurt feeling when you read this, if you are not one kind with them.

I now swear to myself, and shall not regret in the future, and shall not doubt my own judgment for making this decision. I shall say goodbye and shall not see you guys anymore. Because you are all making me feel so alone but your mouths keep saying “care for me”!


This morning, I went to see Dr. Benjamin. Doctor sounded happy because I make the initiative to reduce my medicine cocktail. I wanted to say Doc, I am kind of confused about things happened around me, I can’t remember things. That is why I missed the appointment with you and ran out of the medicine. Doctor really sounded happy like seeing I have improvement, I am happy too when I see the doctor is happy.

I did not tell you doc, just within these 3 or 4 months, I almost involved in deathly accidents every week. Yesterday I almost killed a family who drove a kancil. The driver was angry and almost wanted to get off his car to punch me. Previous accidents mostly other drivers almost killed me. I do not know if this is related to the medicine. Or shall I say maybe it is reminding me that end of my fate is coming, and the day might come soon? These are just reminders to remind me, please treasure the time you have left?

I finally have the courage to tell that what kind of medicine I am taking now. Well, I am not sure whether this is good but at least someone knows abt me, know abt it. Somebody who knows I am not that strong yet I love to pretend that I am very strong and unbeatable.


Today, I shall rest. My bag is reloaded with my medicine cocktail. I hope for a good sleep.

I shall hope for a better tomorrow after saying bye to all the hypocrites!

I shall be grateful for what I have now.


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